The Absolute Best Roast Beef on the Planet

Herb-Crusted Roast Beef (with a bit of a movie review)

So last night I watched the most horrific, emotionally scarring movie of my life. "I Spit On Your Grave"(the 2010 remake) was the most horrendous, violent, and awful thing that I have ever laid eyes on. David looked over like 20 minutes into the movie and I had my head under the blankets sobbing--Yes, it was that intense...I just wanted to put this public service announcement out there that if you enjoy sleeping soundly at night and not being disgusted to the point of nausea, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not watch that movie. I'm still terrified. Just had to put that out there. I really think I'm done with horror movies for a while, I have accepted that I am just way too much of a punk and can't deal with it. 'Sphere' gave me nightmares, honest to God, SPHERE?! That's not even a horror movie! It has freaking Dustin Hoffman and Sharon Stone in it! But being in the ocean in one of the most terrifying things I can think of, let alone LIVING in the ocean next to a giant alien super intelligent spacecraft. I will tell you why this is so scary for me. I can't swim..I'm Black--yes, and  for all points and purposes the stereotype that black people are terrible swimmers is true. Have you ever seen a black person on a reality TV competition and they kick ass all season then the swimming challenge comes up and they lose? Yeah. Have you ever seen a Black person in Olympics for swimming (BESIDES Cullen Jones in Beijing?) No. Black people don't typically like to deal with precipitation in any forms willingly...case in point---Spoiler Alert!! Queen Latifah is the first person to die in Sphere, didn't mean to ruin it for you..) .

So this is a really old recipe I made a while ago, but I can't believe that I haven't posted it sooner. I know this sounds conceited, but I'm pretty sure I made the best beef in the history of the world a few months ago and it was completely by accident, so please forgive me. These measurements are rough because I was silly and this was the one time I didn't think to write down what I was doing before I did it.

The Herb Marinade...

Herb Blend in the Food Processor

• 2 1/2 lb Boneless Eye-Round Roast, tied with kitchen twine in 2 inch intervals
• 1 1/2 Cups(Packed) Curly Parsley
• 3 Whole Green Onions
• 2 Tbsp Oregano
• 1 Tsp Crushed Red Pepper
• 2 Tsp Kosher Salt
• 1 Tsp Thyme
• 3 Cloves Garlic
• 2 Tsp Basil
• 1/2 Tsp Rosemary
• 1/2 Tsp Fresh Ground Black Pepper
• 1 Tbsp Red Wine Vinegar
• 1/3 Cup Olive Oil

Put all the ingredients except the olive oil into a food processor and and pulse until everything is finely chopped. Then while the food processor is running slowly add the olive oil in a steady stream and process until smooth. 

Now, take your tied roast and season it VERY generously with kosher salt on all sides(including the edges, this is important because the salt with help in the tenderizing process of the meat) and all of the marinade on all sides of the roast. Wrap your roast very tightly in plastic wrap and place in a container in the fridge for at least 12 hours. I left my roast in the refrigerator for 24 hours and turned the roast over Every 8 hours or so. The flavors in the beef were excellent, but not overpowering. Your roast should look like this after the marinade is added.

Searing the Beef...

This next step is SUPER important. You have to SEAR the beef in order to lock in all the flavors and get that nice caramel color and outside crust that you typically associate with a roast.

Preheat the oven to 250 degrees.

It's important to let the beef come up to room temperature before you start the searing/cooking process so that it doesn't take as long to cook in the oven. Therefore you should plan to take your beef out of the refrigerator at least an hour before you plan to start cooking it.

After about an hour unwrap your roast and try to keep as much of my marinade on it as possible. You can always just scrape it off the plastic wrap and pat it back on the meat along with more salt and pepper as you see fit. Now, heat a heavy bottom skillet(like cast iron) or medium-high heat and coat the bottom of the pan with Canola or Vegetable oil. I wouldn't recommend olive oil because it has a lower smoke point and you would probably end up in the hospital for smoke inhalation after you got done trying to sear this thing. I also recommend opening your windows or turning on your stove-top fan at this point because it will most likely get extremely smoky in your kitchen anyway. Now add the beef to the skillet and cook for about 4 minutes on each side including the edges(you'll probably have to hold it with tongs or some other device to sear the edges).

After you sear the beef it should look like this---

This is what your roast should look like after you sear all sides of it.

Take the roast out of the oven and place on a cutting board. Cover it loosely with aluminum foil for at 15 minutes so it can rest and the juices don't run as badly out of the meat when you cut it.( I unfortunately got impatient and only waited 10 minutes so I did loose some of the juices, but not too much to make it really dry). Slice it up in thick slices and serve it up with some garlic mashed potatoes and sauteed green beans! It was SOOOO good. David seriously couldn't believe how good it was and neither could I since it was such an experiment. I think I seriously ate at least 12 ounces of steak in one sitting and immediately fell into a food coma afterwards. So do not consume if you must operate a motor vehicle or heavy machinery immediately afterwards. =)