Good Vibrations(Brought to You by Lentil, Sausage and Spinach Soup)

So guys...I'm back at least for the time being. I keep forgetting to update this blog since I've been posting pictures on facebook but I also forget that not everyone is my facebook friend and therefore not able to see it. I have about 10 recipes that I need to post on here so it's going to be a heavy week of blogging. It is currently 8 am exactly while I am typing this and I have been up all night playing call of duty and watching movies with David  like a little fat kid instead of doing something productive, but hey, whatever. Okay. So before I post this recipe for lentil soup with kielbasa and spinach, I am obligated to give my opinion on all the awful Hollywood nonsense that I have no place give a flying @*$! about...

Tonight David and I watched 'The Fighter', starring the always wonderful Mark Wahlberg(get it..Marky Mark) and the always terrifyingly creepy Christian Bale (that is a dude you DEFINITELY do not want to meet in a dark alley)... The movie was great and I personally decided that Mark Wahlberg (Yes..over you Alexander Skarsgard--come on, you didn't even earn it..you were just lucky to be born Swedish and beautiful) is my favorite actor for the following reasons:

A. His Irish Boston accent is always spot on...
B. His little midget behind will be the next person that we make Chuck Norris jokes about in the year 2024 because yes, he is just that much of a badass..

And..

C. Any White dude who had the balls to try and rap about 'Good Vibrations' while rocking a  superfluous 3rd nipple, and Zumba pants in the 90s, and THEN become a respectable Hollywood A-list celebrity deserves some serious kudos. See the following examples of how to be a GOOD white rapper and actor and how to fail at it miserably.

Example 1---Good White Actors/Rappers---- Eminem (8 mile)

'8 Mile' won Eminem's silly ass an Oscar for best original song. I will give Eminem total credit because he is one of the best rappers in the game no matter which race he is. Regardless of how you feel about his lyrics, you have to acknowledge that he knows what he is doing. His Oscar nomination was a milestone for rap music UNTIL Three 6 Mafia's country ass' stole the show a couple of years later and went up there at the Oscars acting a damn fool for a song called "It's hard out here for a pimp". I've never seen so many confused white people(and some black people including myself..) at one moment in my life. (Not saying they shouldn't have won because 'Hustle & Flow' was an excellent movie, but damn..they could've at least taken out their grills before they got up there trying to give an acceptance speech with those country ass Memphis accents..)

Good White Rapper #2 (well seriously mediocre, but who are we kidding? His body made up for 95% of the popularity of his "rap" career anyway)---Mark Walhberg aka Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch

Look at Marky Mark rockin' those ridiculous M.C. Escher Zumba pants with that  group of black dudes..all whilst you know he was wondering "how long will it take before I get jumped in the back alley of the concert venue for making millions of dollars "rapping" this corny ass song like I was a white dude from Bel Air reciting the lyrics of an NWA song at the Apollo Theatre..??" but look at him now.. He took that 'Good Vibrations' money, got his third nipple removed, hired himself a good agent, and is now a super millionaire thanks to being able to maintain the ability to remain ripped and talk with a good Bostonian accent at the age of 39. I would like to extend a personal thank you to Marky Mark for maintaining that 40 year old body of yours..It made the crapfest that was M. Night Shyamalan's "The Happening" mildly tolerable.(wtf? The plants are retaliating? THE PLANTS? F&#@ you M. Night...I am done with our director/viewer relationship..I can't deal with this disappointment anymore--how did you make the 6th sense and then make that movie?!!?! Seriously though...that movie was some bull..but anyways, I digress..)

Now, How to be a TERRIBLE white rapper/actor----

Only one example is needed--Lady's and Gentlemen, I give you this tribute to VANILLA ICE's riveting performance in--'Cool As Ice'

...No words are needed for that bull@#$%---onto the soup before I get too upset..

Okay, so the first recipe I'm going to post in this excessive making up of blog post is for a really simple lentil and spinach soup. I made this soup at seriously 12am last night because I've been eating nothing but store bought chicken tenders for like the last 4 days and I felt like crap. I must say that I actually expected this soup to be horrible since I hadn't had lentils since I was about 8 but it was sooooo good and so healthy for you at the same time! So please make this if you ever need a delicious meal to stretch for the week for under $8.

• 2 lbs brown lentils(16 oz)
• 16 oz smoked kielbasa
• 1 medium red onion
• 1 medium yellow onion
• 3 carrots, peeled and diced into cubes
• 3 ribs of celery, diced
• 4 cups of chicken broth (32 oz)
• 3 cups water
• 1 tbsp salt(more or less to taste--I recommend starting with less and then at the end work up to more if it doesn't taste the way you like it
• 1 tsp dried cumin
• 2 tsp garlic powder
• 2 bay leaves
• 2 tbsp parsley(finely chopped)
• 2 tsp cayenne pepper(feel free to omit this if you don't like spice or add more if you like it hot)
• 1 cup fresh spinach leaves and steams (chiffonade--Chiffonade is a cooking technique in which herbs or leafy green vegetables (such as spinach and basil) are cut into long, thin strips. This is generally accomplished by stacking leaves, rolling them tightly, then cutting across the rolled leaves with a sharp knife, producing fine ribbons.--wikipedia)

In a medium sized stock pot, sautee the sausage until it is browned and fragrant about 3-5 minutes. Remove sausage and set aside, leaving the drippings in the pot. Saute the onion in the same pot used for the sausage for 3-5 minutes, until tender. Add the garlic and saute an additional minute while stirring because garlic burns EXTREMELY easily and becomes really bitter if you aren't paying attention.

Add the water to deglaze the pot, making sure to scrape up any browned bits that remain. Add the broth, lentils, and seasonings. Bring pot to a boil. Add the sausage, carrot and celery, place a lid on the pot, and simmer on medium low for 45-60 minutes, or until lentils and vegetables are tender. During the last 10 minutes of cooking time, add in your spinach leaves and stems. Serve.